Discussion Section: Sex In China?

August 21, 2009
By C. Custer

Are Chinese people too repressed when it comes to sex, or are they perhaps too carefree? Is it possible to be both? What would a society with healthy attitudes about sex look like to you, and how can Chinese society get there (or is it there already)?

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22 Responses to Discussion Section: Sex In China?

  1. anonymous on August 22, 2009 at 08:22

    Everything and nothing, 1.3 billion is too many people to smear.

  2. wooddoo on August 22, 2009 at 17:20

    To anonymous:

    Read Custer’s arguments in the past and you’ll see he’s not here to smear the Chinese people.

    But the number 1.3 billion does mean generalizations are just meaningless. Some are too sexually depressed and some are overly carefree. For every Prudence McPrude in China you can find a corresponding Slutty Sluttinson here.

  3. C. Custer on August 23, 2009 at 00:22

    anonymous: I would encourage you to learn to read better. There’s nothing smearing about this, it’s a question.

    And yes, generalizations are always inaccurate, but if we’re talking about prevailing social trends in a massive country we’re going to need to generalize a bit every now and then.

  4. anonymous on August 24, 2009 at 02:32

    I’m not talking about your question specifically- but people who say “is Chinese society this” or “are Chinese people that”. Yes and no, maybe.

    There are huge regional and even provincial differences in terms of social structure if anyone cares to realize it.

  5. anonymous on August 24, 2009 at 02:34

    For instance can you ask “are Westerners misogynists?”

    Well on one hand you have Russians who are more likely to beat their wives than any group measured on the planet, or you have Swedes (though few in number) who are significantly less likely to do so.

    The whole “white” ethnic group spans 1,000 million people. “Chinese” covers 1,200 in China and 50 more in Southeast Asia, Europe and America.

    So yeah, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

  6. What?Who?Wei? on August 24, 2009 at 10:38

    As usual its a contradictory.
    On the surface it seems as if chinese society is very carefree about sex from the amount of exposure seen in media (not TV Though) and in the Street / Nightlife.
    Its just about everywhere.
    But in the average persons family its an unspoken topic. Most children do not even get the uncomfortable “birds and the bees” conversation with Dad or Mum that Westerners experience. And there is little to no education or information during the formative school years.

    Like many things, its there, but its not there.

  7. C. Custer on August 25, 2009 at 07:51

    @ anonymous: That’s a bit of a flawed analogy. Obviously there are lots of people in China and generalizations are inherently imperfect anyway, but unlike all the examples of other groups you brought up, Chinese people, regardless of region, live under the same political system and the vast majority of them have the same basic understanding of “Chinese culture” and history as it pertains to China. There may be lots of white people but some of them grew up in the US, some in Germany, and some in South Africa.

    I understand the aversion to generalization, but there needs to be an entry point to the topic somewhere. I could ask “What do you think about the social mores vis-a-vis sex of college students in Fujian?”, but that leaves a lot of people out in the dark. This is a discussion post. The question is intentionally general because it’s inclusive, it then allows people to get into more useful specifics, i.e., “well, when I lived in [city], my experience with this was…”

    (And obviously, “Chinese” here refers to people who live in Mainland China. I think people who regularly read this blog have that context down well enough that I don’t need to say “current residents of Mainland China” every time I want to talk about people.

  8. shunin on August 26, 2009 at 19:07

    Who told that Russian beat their wives more than any other group at planet. Live in China for 5 years, never seen such cruelty to chinese grilfriends and wives before. Always even at famous streets it is possible to see couple beating each other. Plus, there are 1500 000 000 Chinese here, so you can easily count how many people here beat women. Also Chinese [redacted; again, let's try to refrain from making crazy racial generalizations -ed.]

  9. anonymous on August 29, 2009 at 10:09

    Chinese people, regardless of region, live under the same political system and the vast majority of them have the same basic understanding of “Chinese culture” and history as it pertains to China.

    I wouldn’t say that. The people from various major regions are very different mainly because they became “Chinese” at different points in time.

    but that leaves a lot of people out in the dark.

    I guess they’re completely ignorant then. At the least you can break it down into four regions, North, South, NE and SW. Using “Chinese” just begs the question of who you’re comparing to. To answer your question I’d say traditional Chinese society is pretty quiet about sex more as a “decency” thing, but there is less guilt and shame heaped upon individuals for what they do in their private life.

    Whites, on the other hand, are of course Christianized so the church says sex and pleasure is evil while corporations generally do not. So you get a lot of gay-haters who sleep with prostitutes, preachers who have mistresses, and all sorts of hypocrites and perverts.

    Who told that Russian beat their wives more than any other group at planet.

    Measured. Africans probably do it more, but they weren’t asked. iirc 70% of Russian women say they experience physical abuse from their husbands. Chinese men are among the least likely, of all peoples on the planet, to kill their wives and girlfriends.

    Live in China for 5 years, never seen such cruelty to chinese grilfriends and wives before. Always even at famous streets it is possible to see couple beating each other.

    I don’t care what you see or claim to see. I have facts and much more experience.

  10. anonymous on August 29, 2009 at 10:12

    Woman-killing in Russia -
    http://www.unfpa.org/news/news.cfm?ID=1069

    An estimated 14,000 Russian women are killed every year, on average, by partners or other family members

    That’s almost equal to the TOTAL NUMBER OF MURDERS in America in a year, while Russia has half of America’s population.

  11. anonymous on August 29, 2009 at 10:13

    Also Chinese usually dont fight one at one like any other foreigner

    Missed this gem. Actually, [redacted. Let's try to refrain from making ridiculous, unsubtantiated generalizations about races, k? -ed.]

  12. anonymous on August 29, 2009 at 10:40

    That is, when they are criminals in the first place. You rarely ever hear of multiple-perp crimes in East Asian societies.

  13. C. Custer on August 29, 2009 at 11:55

    The people from various major regions are very different mainly because they became “Chinese” at different points in time.
    Right, but they became Chinese at a point in time, whereas white people never all became Italian (or American, or whatever).

    And yes, lots of people are completely ignorant. Silly me, I thought I’d try to do something about it rather than just ignoring them. The fact is, even breaking it into groups leaves a lot of people out. How many people have lived long enough in all of those regions of China to comment on the culture there authoritatively? Have you? If this was a discussion section about sex in northwest China, for example, would you be commenting?

    Also, let’s try to support what we’re saying with actual evidence.
    You rarely ever hear of multiple-perp crimes in East Asian societies.

    “In the east coastal regions [of China], 70-80 percent of serious criminal cases have been attributed to gangs.” (Source).

    As a rule of thumb, if I can find strong counter-evidence with two seconds and google, you probably should at least find a source of your own before posting.

    Anyway, I feel as though the discussion here has gotten off task, so: sex in China. Is it as awesome as sex elsewhere? Discuss.

  14. mtm on August 29, 2009 at 23:30

    Big generation gap between the very prudish Traditional to early Communist era Chinese, and the new bunch who spent more of their childhood at classrooms and dormitories than as their parents’ children.

  15. anonymous on August 30, 2009 at 04:12

    “In the east coastal regions [of China], 70-80 percent of serious criminal cases have been attributed to gangs.”

    That doesn’t mean multiple perps. Gang members often act independently.

  16. C. Custer on August 30, 2009 at 07:50

    Don’t you think you’re splitting hairs a bit? Anyway, who fucking cares, the idea that one race of people commits crimes in groups more often than another is completely idiotic, and barring any ACTUAL EVIDENCE from you I’m not going to discuss it further.

  17. anonymous on August 30, 2009 at 10:56

    Oh okay, so I guess you don’t have to substantiate your claims of widespread sexism and violence against women in China because you just know.

    It’s common knowledge that higher crime areas produce more multiple-perp crimes and that specific races are concentrated these areas in multiracial countries.

    There are statistics from the American deparment of justice out on this.

  18. shunin on August 30, 2009 at 17:24

    I dont care what facts do you have. You, small baby believe to every shit what official newspapers tell to you? I can post here a lot of foreign links about hard life in China, so what will you tell then?
    A yes, maybe you are Chinese guy from chinasmack, who was beaten by his wife 9 times in one year?

  19. anonymous on August 30, 2009 at 22:27

    Yes, the funny thing about domestic abuse in say Hong Kong or South China is that half of the time it’s the woman hitting the man.

    This is reported by the children, which is probably the most accurate way to gauge spousal abuse.

    Of course it doesn’t hurt at all when women hit (99% of the time), but it’s funny nonetheless.

  20. anonymous on August 30, 2009 at 22:28

    And no, I don’t even read the “official papers”. Russians are more likely to end up killing and beating their wives, more so than any other people in Eurasia. However it’s still a tiny minority.

  21. mtm on August 30, 2009 at 23:34

    Generally, Chaozhouren are the only Chinese stereotyped by other Chinese as wifebeaters. Mainly because Chaozhou women (like Korean and Japanese women) are considered suspiciously obedient, whereas anyone with experience with “real” Chinese women will realize that that “demure obedient” is just an act that will be dropped after marriage when the nightmare begins.

    -recovering member of the PTT (怕太太) anonymous.

    ps. Shanghai men are pussies. Apparently Shanghai women like em that way. *snigger*

    re: Russians “he beats you because he loves you”
    http://www.rferl.org/content/article/1105129.html
    This is pretty bad.

  22. m.tm on August 30, 2009 at 23:35

    Generally, Chaozhouren are the only Chinese stereotyped by other Chinese as wifebeaters. Mainly because Chaozhou women (like Korean and Japanese women) are considered suspiciously obedient, whereas anyone with experience with “real” Chinese women will realize that that “demure obedient” is just an act that will be dropped after marriage when the nightmare begins.

    -recovering member of the PTT (怕太太) anonymous.

    ps. Shanghai men are pussies. Apparently Shanghai women like em that way. *snigger*

    re: Russians “he beats you because he loves you”
    http://www.rferl.org/content/article/1105129.html
    This is pretty bad.

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